A [Modern] Proverbs 31 Woman: What Does It Mean?

I've gone down the proverbial rabbit hole. Join me, won't you?

Lately, there has been a lot of attention centered around what is being called the “Proverbs 31 woman.” You see this on social media, television, preached from the pulpits of religious organizations, and even offered as classes at women's retreats. People have named books this way, started blogs, and life coaches have added it to their bag of helpful tools.

But what exactly does being a Proverbs 31 woman mean, and how (if at all) is it possible to be one in the 21st century?

First things first, let’s look at the biblical reference itself—Proverbs 31:10:

“Her worth is beyond coral, her husband’s whole trust is in her, and her children are not lacking. She repays evil for good, all her long life. She chooses wool and flax and toils at her work. Like a ship laden with merchandise, she brings home food from afar. She rises while it is still night and sets meat before her household. After careful thought, she buys a field and plants a vineyard out of her earnings. She sets forth about her duties with vigor and braces herself for the work.”

It goes on for several more verses, but it is the last few words that I would like to save here, for the purposes of the rest of the blog—and perhaps the conclusion of this rabbit hole:

“…her shining and most defining characteristic is her deep fear of the Lord.”

So then, if I shop at Sam’s Club, Costco, and other stores that are within a 30-minute driving radius, am I disqualified from being a Proverbs 31 woman?

What if I never buy a field, or make enough profit to plant a vineyard—because I live in South Carolina, and the vineyard would probably die? Does climate or circumstance excuse me from being a Proverbs 31 woman?

I think not.

But still, we must acknowledge: the modern woman has far more to deal with than ever before. Despite the conveniences of today’s society—groceries delivered to your door, smartphones in hand, apps to manage everything from meals to money—the weight we carry seems to have only increased.

Modern women are expected to be career-driven, emotionally available, physically flawless, spiritually deep, socially active, and domestically skilled—all at once. And on top of that, they often do so in a culture that no longer holds men to the standard of past generations.

The biblical model of a godly man—one who provides, protects, and leads with love—is no longer the default expectation but some unicorn to be found. In many ways, the world has lowered the bar for men while raising the pressure on women.

So what then is a woman to do, if she is convicted by the Word and the Spirit within her to strive toward being a Proverbs 31 woman in today’s age?

She does what the woman of Proverbs 31 did: she looks past her circumstances, past cultural shifts, and leans into the eternal truth that God’s Word is still the standard. Even if the world doesn’t applaud her choices, she knows that her calling hasn’t been canceled just because culture has changed.

She also knows she is not alone in this conviction. Though the path may feel narrow, though the expectations may feel heavy, God’s grace is sufficient, and His Spirit is faithful to lead her step by step. The Proverbs 31 woman is not a model of perfection, but of devotion—devotion to her home, her work, her people, and most importantly, to her God.

At the very heart of it all is one truth: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10).

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” — Proverbs 31:30

The fear of the Lord—a deep, reverent awe and trust in God—is the root from which all her other strengths grow. It’s what gives her dignity. It’s what empowers her to rise early, to make wise decisions, to serve others with gladness, and to speak with wisdom and kindness.

Even if you never buy a vineyard or sew your own linens or wake up before dawn to feed your family (thank you, frozen waffles), you can still be a Proverbs 31 woman.

Because the heart of that woman is not perfection—it’s devotion.

Even though times have changed, God never changes, and His laws remain relevant in every generation. The Proverbs 31 woman is not locked in time—she is timeless because the God who calls her is eternal.

So yes, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman in 2025. Not because you live in biblical times—but because you serve the same unchanging God.